One of the buzzwords in education is “executive functioning skills,” which refers to the “soft skills” that help you get things done. Getting a good grade doesn’t just mean knowing when the Magna Carta was signed and understanding how to divide fractions; it also requires you to remember all your homework assignments, show up to class on time, hand in your papers (with your name on them!), study for your tests. If you aren’t organized, you won’t be able to succeed. But if you’re not organized, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to do well; it just means you need to build the skills for success. A lot of times, we look at our middle schoolers and say, “How old are you? Why haven’t you figured this out yet?!” In reality, it’s the perfect age to build these skills and the habits that will work for them as individuals.
Scheduling Time
As kids get older, they’re going to develop their own social lives. Get them started using a calendar. When they join a group or team, they should write out the meeting dates, game schedule, or times when work will be due. Some people use a wall calendar, pocket calendar they carry with them, or the digital calendar in their phones. With a free Gmail account, you can set up several calendars (for example, one for family events, one for school, etc.) and you can share them as needed. A shared family calendar is a great way to keep track of events. Meanwhile, your middle schooler can keep their own digital calendar of their friends’ birthdays.
For parents/caregivers, this is a great opportunity to hold your kids responsible for their own business. If they don’t put their practice schedule on the shared calendar, you’re not responsible for getting them to their appointments. A few quick consequences will quickly teach the lesson!
Don’t be frustrated if this doesn’t immediately become a habit. Try a different model if one doesn’t work. One of the goals is for you to help your child figure out what works for them, and it may be different than what works for you!
Help them learn how to think about time this way. Younger kids go where they’re told when they’re told to, so they’re not used to planning it out. Help your child think through how long it takes them to do their homework, get ready for bed, eat dinner. How long will it take to get from Homework Club to lacrosse? Will they have time to take the late bus, or do they need to ask for a ride?
Study Skills
Note-taking - It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized the point of taking notes in class was so you could review them at night. Writing notes always helped me remember the material and then homework made me drill the skill, but before each test, I would cram. If instead, you read through your notes at night, you can figure out if there’s anything you don’t really understand and then ask your teacher. You can clean up the scribbled writing and review what you’ve learned to make it easier to recall at test time. There’s no such thing as a school night without homework if you plan to take 20 minutes to review your notes, but those 20 minutes will save you hours later. And, if you’ve got a busy afterschool schedule, you can do this in the car or on the go!
Flashcards - Always a great way to practice vocabulary, math facts, historical dates, etc., flashcards are tried-and-true. Quizlet is an app for digital flashcards. Writing out flashcards–or typing them in–is the first opportunity to review the day’s learning, too!
Reminders - Long-term projects are often chunked out by teachers with specific due dates for different parts, but it’s still worth thinking through if your child will need reminders along the way. If they have a test on Friday, should they write it on the calendar for Friday, or should they put it as homework on Thursday night, “Study for Test”? Or, should it be homework every day that week if they need a lot of practice?
Getting Organized
Building habits to get organized is not easy. It’s a process of trial and error to find the right habits. And it’s a process of making mistakes and recommitting to the routine.
What works? Does it help to pack up your backpack every night, or do you do better getting organized in the morning?
Visualize - What does “homework done” look like? It probably means your work area is cleaned up and all your assignments are back in your bag. Make a checklist to help your child build the routines! What does “ready for school/dance/etc. look like?” Hang the checklist by the back door! What does “lunch packed” look like? Visual checklist in the cabinet so they remember everything from the fruit snacks to the water bottle!
Plan to be Organized - Create a dedicated space for work. This may be a quiet spot in the house or, if your child is active & social, they may do better in a busy spot where they’ll get a lot of stimulation. Either way, make sure all the needed materials are there: extra pen & pencils, paper, tools for craft projects. Make sure there’s a plan for cleaning up and putting everything back in its spot, too!
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but in a crazy life, it’s a start! As the weather gets warmer and our social lives get busier, it’s important to keep everyone on track. Talk about this stuff with your kids, ask what they think will work, and then follow up. It won’t be a habit after one day or one week, so keep checking in and revise the plan as needed. After a month or a few weeks, it’ll start to become a habit they can count on.
If your child is struggling with the soft skills for success in school or in their other activities, don’t hesitate to reach out to their guidance counselor for help. We’ve got years of experience at helping kids learn and refine their executive functioning skills!
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